God blessed me with the role of being a mother. However, I must admit that being a mother is something I took for granted in the past. I have many regrets and have done many things as a mother that I am not proud of such as using drugs and drinking alcohol. I would mistreat my children and take my anger and frustrations out on them. I ignored them when they needed attention. I loved them but, treated them like my belongings believing they would always be there. Sadly, much of this happened even after I became a Christian.
It wasn’t until the day I faced possibly losing them that I understood their value and who they really belonged to. I had been so selfishly wrapped up in my own pain from the separation of my husband that I didn’t realize that my kids were also in pain and being neglected by me, their mother. I wasn’t even meeting their basic needs like making sure that they were in a safe, clean environment.
When I faced losing custody of my children because of my actions, I hit rock bottom. God had entrusted me with these children, who belonged to him and here I was about to lose them. My mind filled with memories of all the mistakes I had made that had led me to that moment. I had failed my kids and most of all I failed God. My heart was filled with pain and repentance and I knew there was only one thing left to do. I had to confess my sins to my God and beg for his mercy and forgiveness. Because of his mercy which I didn’t deserve, on the last day I was given to find some where to live, we moved into the Orlando Union Rescue Mission.
I will never forget that day, it was the day God gave me another chance at being a mother. Now with this second chance that I didn’t deserve, I knew I could not continue to make the same mistakes. I had to make a drastic changes in my life. The first thing I did was hand my children off to God. These were not my children they were God’s children and I needed to treat them accordingly.
It was also time to start handling my business as a mother. I had one child flunking out of school and the other having frequent panic attacks. We were not getting along with each other. Therefore, I sought counsel from staff members. They all told me the same thing – the change needed to start with me. I needed to trust God, obey God, and not just speak his word but, live his word especially when my kids were watching.
As I made changes, transformations began in my family. We started to get along with one another, my children’s grades improved, and my daughter stopped having panic attacks. I know that I have to continue to work on these changes every day and give God the glory for what he has done in and through me.
I trust the plans that God has for me are much better than the ones I had for myself. God has renewed my mind and I will let him guide my footsteps. I have new priorities as a mother and goals for my children. I want them to follow God and not the ways of my past. I pray for their salvation and cannot wait for the day that I know they are walking in the truth. Today, I vow that I will no longer let the enemy use me against my children. I will no longer be a stumbling block for them. I know God is perfect and will direct me in the best ways to be a mother to my children. My God is amazing and I thank him for allowing me the beautiful experience of being a mother – a role I will take very seriously from now on. -M.M., Florida
The Orlando Union Rescue Mission has been fighting homelessness in Orlando since 1948. Not only do they provide for the needs of those they shelter, their programs are designed to lead to permanent independence and a relationship with Jesus Christ. For more information or donations visit: https://www.orum.org
To leave a comment, please scroll to bottom of page.