So tired of being tired as I sit waiting for yet another doctor’s appointment. Tired of those too. At times, my fatigue is debilitating. I can sleep 12 hours and groggily get up, slowly move through the day, take a nap, and still not have energy. The funny thing about fatigue and the other physical issues I have is that they are not easily discerned by others.
Sometimes, I feel like the little boy who cried wolf. “I am so tired. I just need a nap. I am not sure I can do that today. It is not a normal tired.” It is a down to the bone draining fatigue. I cannot think straight, my mind will check out and my limbs will become heavy. Even basic tasks can be daunting. Exhaustive fatigue is often followed by frustration and at times, depression.
Being diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease, a thyroid issue that causes the immune system to attack itself and completely deplete your energy stores is difficult enough. However, I have several other physical issues competing for my energy too.
One of my current doctors told me that I have a good sense of humor. Yet, there are days that I want to cry in frustration but, literally do not have the energy. At times, I strain to keep my eyes open. I can hear the sounds around me but, cannot move (I apologize the pastors of all churches I have attended as my eyes are often closed).
There have been moments of reprieve where I felt whole, energized, and focused. Unfortunately, they are not very common. I realize that there are those in life that deal with a lot more and much worse than I do. To those, I express sincere empathy and pray that you have the strength for the challenges you face. – D.E., Florida
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